18 Comments

I immediately thought of Rosie when I read that Ellen interview. Granted I don’t think you can run successful talk show conglomerates by being nice, but the shock & utter disbelief that you are anything but beloved is delusional.

Love seeing Miss Mui Mui. They don’t call them crazy calicoes for nothing.

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I love how no matter the topic, you are both incisive and kind, like a surgeon with a warn hand on the shoulder after.

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I just discovered this after being a long time tomandlorenzo reader, but I’ve been taking a self-imposed break from a lot of social media lately. LOVE the kitties pictures and learning more about their personalities. I’ll be checking back in, it’s nice to see your thoughts on another platform.

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God I love your emails and your podcast and Lorenzo’s viewing and shopping shares. Thank you for yet another way to enjoy your fabulous opinions, and cat pics too!

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It's so funny that Ellen says "My guests love me" as if a) that proves anything and b) there's been more than a few cases over the years of guests talking about how uncomfortable they were made to feel on that show! There's Trans Youtuber Nikkietutorials who has spoken about this on TV (in the Netherlands) and that whole Dakota Johnson story also made her look so bad, and I'm sure there's more examples of this over the years, it just looks so incredibly disingenuous.

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Your description of Miu Miu tickled me to death. Hee! The yelling cat. Love.

i'm finding this edition of Twirling Through It particularly timely (and excellently done, so many layers) because i've been rereading several of my Paul Monette books, including "Borrowed Time" and "Last Watch of the Night." Right now am in the middle of "Becoming a Man," his memoir about his titanic struggle for self, and self-expression, and self-actualization. He tells the story of his life as a closeted gay person from the time he was a small child, and how his life was spent rigorously constructing the persona he felt he needed to "pass" at Andover and Yale and later.

He was a brilliant writer (won the National Book Award for Nonfiction in 1992 for "Becoming a Man"), became an AIDS activist, and died in 1995 of AIDS. His partner Roger Horvitz died of AIDS in 1986 and his next partner also died of AIDS in 1991 or do.

Probably many people aren't familiar with his name, but he was influential back in the day. (His writing is unsparingly beautiful.) He became an AIDS activist and scathing political commentator as AIDS started scouring and decimating gay communities in the early and mid 80s while the government stood by and did a whole lot of nothing.

Anyway! Thank you. Great installment of TTI.

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Borrowed Time is brilliant; I absolutely take it out to reread and I love it because Paul and Roger are not perfect, by the metrics of their time or ours. They are real, messy humans with real, messy reactions to their situations.

There's pressure not to be that. There's pressure to put on your activism like a mask of perfection and authority, and no-one can tell you you're wrong because You Are The [Insert Identity Here] In The Room. I can't imagine Monette becoming that; maybe I need to read more of him, but it's beyond me how AIDS could turn him into that, after what he and Roger went through together.

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Well, i couldn't agree with you more about Paul and Roger being imperfect and messy and human (which is one reason i love "Borrowed Time," its immediacy and honesty), and how unbelievably fraught their "time on the moon" together with AIDS was.

But you see, i believe that what turned Paul into such a vocal and truly enraged/engaged activist was *precisely* a result of what he and Roger (and their dear friend Cesar, and countless among their friends and colleagues) experienced, as told in "Borrowed Time," the awful sufferings and deaths. Paul was able to do things like go across the border to Mexico to buy large quantities of the various (ultimately ineffective and in some cases toxic) medications that he had researched, and he knew he was fortunate in being able to do that. He watched and seethed as the federal government stood by and just let people die. His invective against Christian fundamentalists, the tyranny of the closet, people "looking the other way," is breathtaking. So in my opinion, AIDS truly radicalized him.

In "Last Watch of the Night," which is a collection of essays, there's a piece called "The Politics of Silence," which consists of (in slightly edited form) the remarks Paul made at the Library of Congress in 1993 as part of National Book Week. It's as scathing and political and activist and angry as anything you can ever read by him. i recommend it.

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"Probably many people aren't familiar with his name, but he was influential back in the day."

Yeah, well, some of us are old. ;-)) I'm a particular fan of the collection of his poems, <i>Love Alone: Eighteen Elegies for Rog</i>.

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I'm waiting for post #50 when we're still being introduced to yet another adopted kit 😆 How many are there! So much personality in one household lol.

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Miu Miu at last! Thank you for the formal introduction to the darling whose disruptions make me laugh every.single.time. Loving this new format and content too!

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Miu Miu is being a normal calico cat 🤣, my daughter has an old cat that only ever howled since kitten-hood, so she was named early on Banshee

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This is an excellent post. I never thought about tying those three together about how being gay leads to curating an image for yourself that may not be authentic. But it so fits.

You nailed it with saying how Halston's pretensions was his downfall. When you compare him to someone like Pierre Cardin who also branded the hell out of his name, the difference between the 2 men is so strikingly huge.

I so agree about Colton. I have empathy for him and I want to be supportive and sympathetic. But I seriously want to shake him and tell him to stop attention whoring and focus on what matters. Straighten out your life and earn your pink card.

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Your Miu Miu reminds me of my Keno - excessively verbal, a wakeup and bedtime alarm.

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I love Miu Miu. She reminds me so much of a little, loud black cat we had named Samantha. 10lbs of pure opinion :)

Great piece, Gents! You have found a way to thread that needle of truth tellers and nuanced writers. Not everyone can do it.

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So well said. I’m really enjoying your thoughtful posts and how articulate, kind and respectful your writing is. Well done sirs!

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Hello, Miss Miu Miu. What a pretty girl she is. So nice to see the cat who's usually been talking during the podcasts. I've had no opinion on Colton or Ellen simply because I usually try and not pay attention to any celeb. I like the points you brought up about them though. I do think Colton needs to step back and get some help but yes, the reality money is too strong. As for Ellen, I've bought into her role as "nice person" as much as any celeb that portrays that image. Meaning, I know it's probably not true because you can't accomplish what she has without stepping on some toes or being a tyrant to those who work for you.

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My daughter in law is Miss Mui Maui’s doppelgänger. Give her a hug for me 😉

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