31 Comments

Your cultural criticism has always been so thoughtful and I'm excited to see more of it. The only blog I read in college that I can still stomach ten years later. Your evolution has been brilliant to watch!

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I chuckle at the notion that you didn't think of yourselves as writers, because this is as thoughtful a piece on "the way we live now" as any I've read in the Atlantic over the past several months. Thank you!

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Well, helllllooooo Miss Daisy! My face does the same thing, so I feel you, Girl.

Thank you for this piece! I have rolled my eyes every single time I see some click-bait article about "How we have changed". You know what? Most people haven't. All 2020 did, for a good portion of the population, was bring out the already present tendencies in people. I saw amazing gestures of kindness from people I already knew were kind, and selfish/petty behavior from those who I already knew were jerks. The unstoppable, rabid way in which the media has to distill everything down to one singular definition or "side" is beyond old and tired. I truly hope people just stop buying into it and start using critical thinking to suss out information, and possibly understand that things are not always that simple. But I'm going to hold my breath waiting for it.

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Catastrophe has a way of lifting the veil of complacency and revealing what was always behind it. The horror and beauty of human nature -- and of everything else -- comes into sharper focus, for a while at least. Simplistic analysis is popular but not helpful. I wish people would simply be more present, thoughtful, and kind, but that's probably too much to ask.

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What a thoughtful, smart, humane piece. Cogent and not reductive. Exactly what i've come to expect and look forward to, and that i always welcome!

What helped sustain me over this last year (i too am childless and self-employed) were the tiny moments of connection -- as in your recent Cinnamon Connection -- that my dog and i were lucky enough to have as we did all our socially distanced, masked walking all around town. Some people wouldn't meet our eyes (but that was true in the Before Times, too), but so many would, and you'd smile at each other and wave. A tiny moment that was really huge when it happened.

Last Thanksgiving Day, which i spent alone, the doggo and i took a lovely brisky walk and came upon a young couple with their new baby. The baby was swaddled closely against his father's chest, with the father's coat around the baby a bit, too, because it was a windy day. i said hello and was thrilled when they actually wanted to engage in some socially distanced conversation. About absolutely nothing important. It was a gorgeous day, and we had a human connection, and so Thanksgiving didn't feel quite so lonely.

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I don’t know about you guys, but those blue surgical masks are more comfortable than the majority of the shoes I insisted on wearing in NYC in my 20s.



I live in a very blue, NPR-listening, New-Yorker-subscribing area of Brooklyn. The majority of people still wear masks, and for me personally it’s more from habit than fear. I’m outside to walk ten minutes to go to the grocery store or coffee shop - indoor places where I will interact with strangers.

Also, as a woman, it's a bit of armour. I don't have to think about what my face looks like, if the look on my face will trigger comments from the strangers. I've enjoyed the break from street harassment.

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Perfectly said! I am one of those “liberals” still wearing a mask because I’m not yet fully vaccinated (10 days and counting). And I suspect I will continue to wear a mask because we are never going to be back to “normal” - we are in a pandemic, god damn it! It’s not over and I’m still meeting people daily who have not been vaccinated. I still will eat outside at restaurants, meet with friends outside, do what I can outside. I’m not afraid, we are just not done with this.

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Enjoyed the piece and it does express so much that I agree with. I've just gotten my second shot and will continue to where my masks because I've been fortunate to still have a job and to go to the office twice a week. Bu that entails taking public transportation and working in an area that isn't the best area to work. Just based on the behavior of some and until I hear we have maybe reached something close to herd immunity (which is probably not going to happen), I will be wearing my masks and be thankful that my family members have also been vaccinated. Helly Daisy! How lovely you are and I love your face.

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This is so on point! I had to wait nearly three long months to meet my first grandchild, who was born in late January this year. It was so exciting to reach my 2 weeks post-vaccination on the day I drove up to Brooklyn to stay for a month. And one week after my arrival to get the go-ahead from the pediatrician that we no longer had to be masked around baby Leo because all of us were fully vaccinated. Do we still mask up everywhere else? You bet we do. It's not a hardship to be considerate of others. I might even wear a mask when flu season starts later this year. Did you notice that it was almost a non-issue this year because most people wore masks?

Daisy reminds me of Minou, a cat I had whose markings made it look like she was always judging you. Resting cat face is a thing.

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The NY Times had an interesting article a week or two ago about how flu season was basically cancelled this year. For one thing, it's hard to get sick if you hardly go anywhere, and when you do, you're masked and sanitizing/washing constantly. Also, there tends to only be one virus that can dominate at any given time. They predicted that when the flu comes back, it won't be as bad at first, because it hasn't spread enough to evolve new strains.

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Thank you for writing this thoughtful piece, particularly: “Elevating objectivity and balance to a virtue results in twisted arguments that recklessness and caution are equivalent opposites”. Completely agree. I’ve been wearing a mask outside from the beginning, and I will continue to do so. I’m the president of our downtown condo board, and it’s been the very devil to get our hundred-plus residents to observe a simple rule: masks in common areas, please! Your recklessness is not an expression of your Latin flair and joie de vivre (I live in Montreal)! My caution is not laughable, it’s part of my joie de vivre, literally!

I had a Cinnamon moment last night on my daily walk, seeing masked patrons chatting outside a popular theatre before curtain. I teared up.

Daisy is gorgeous. Her eyes tell me I have a feline soulmate in Philadelphia!

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This entire piece resonated so strongly with my own experience, thank you for articulating these complex feelings! Also Daisy is ADORBS

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Americans live in two separate countries that no longer have contact with each other.

I work at a grocery store. I have stories.

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100% right on. I wish I had something smarter to say, just I was nodding vigorously reading this post. I feel very seen and really appreciate you putting so much of what I've been feeling into gorgeous words. Thank you sincerely.

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You had SUCH good timing with this post. I was out in a very windy outdoors space on Saturday and found myself feeling annoyed and defensive that others were wearing masks. I wasn't wearing one and didn't think it was remotely necessary - but being irritated at others' choices is silly. You're helping remind me that it's okay if I don't think a mask outdoors is necessary FOR ME, others can do what they judge is best for them, and it's not actually a commentary on my choices.

Aw Daisy! She looks so serious.

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Also, not all mask-wearing is COVID related. I wear a mask to ride my bike because 1) I have allergies, and 2) I have spent hundreds of dollars lasering off sun damage and don't want to get more of it. We had a windy, fire advisory weekend here in the Bay Area, and I came back from both bike rides with itchy eyes but no sneezing, so the mask really helps.

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I was surprised (afterward, on reflection) how personally I was taking others' choices. It certainly gave me some insight into some of the loud reactions we hear about in the media.

I'm allergic to cats and realized how much I benefit from masking when I visit my most cat-loving friend - the first time post-vaccines I visited unmasked I was really very sneezy. There are lots of great reasons for them, you're right!

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Excellent piece, and a great summing up. When I got my second shot, tears came to my eyes, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude and joy came over me. The simple act of grocery shopping became pure happiness, much less hugging my grandchildren again. How incredibly sad that we have become even more divided over something that should have brought us together.

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I could spend all night responding to your various points, so better to say that you summed it all up gloriously and I nodded in agreement right the way through. Thank you.

P.S. I love Daisy.

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I especially appreciate the cat photos. I hope that is a regular feature. Totally in agreement on the random social interactions, however small. I find everyone is much more polite if we think we're in each other's way in the grocery store now. Almost like an excuse to speak to each other. Lots of "sorry" and "oh no problem" and "you're fine!" type of comments to each other.

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